A lot of times when a marriage is headed towards divorce, your spouse has already made up their mind that it's over and nothing you can do will change their decision.
Although they may be persistent on maintaining this mindset, it isn't necessarily the case.
Most of the time, they're trying to be strong in their decision to show you that they're serious and you're efforts to change or make things right aren't working.
So, how do you get your spouse back on board to save the marriage and maybe start over? The main problem usually lies in the fact that your thinking has become limited or is in a state of tunnel vision.
You resort back to all the normal things that you would do to try and convince your spouse to stay in the marriage.
What happens is, your spouse is so used to these tactics that they already have a pretty good idea of where it will end up and they're tired of the same ole song and dance so to speak.
So even though you've done just about everything you can think of to convince your spouse to stay in the marriage, it doesn't mean you've done everything.
You've only done the things you can think of, which are usually based off of past experience or instinct.
These tactics have probably served you well in the past, but as I said before, your spouse knows you pretty well and knows that most of these things are short lived or never last.
What's been proven to work best for a spouse in this position, is begin to chart a course of actions that is unlike anything you've done before.
You have to begin adding some shock factor into your efforts to prove to your spouse that you're just as serious about making some changes in your marriage.
Give your spouse some things to really think about rather than letting them assume that things will be like they used to be.
And, the only way to do this is to radically change your approach.
It takes a combination of both psychological tactics and physical actions that aren't exactly requested by your spouse.
You have to show them that you can begin making changes, outside of what they may be already complaining about or that they hold as the sole reasons for their decision.
You have to show your spouse that you can begin making real change, regardless if it's laid on the table or not.
Then and only then, will you be able to actually prove to your spouse that you are serious about making change to save the marriage.
Without them having to tell you every little detail, you need to reach deep down in that memory of yours and correct all the things that have built up to your spouse feeling like divorce is the best option.
Make saving the marriage seem more attractive than leaving.
You may not be able to do this completely on your own or maybe you can.
The point is though, if you don't know what you can do, due to the fact that you're mind is clouded by all the emotional factors at play and stuck in that narrow vision of ideas, than take the time to read and learn all you can about clever ways to reverse your spouses mindset about ending the marriage.
Don't give up or believe there's no hope.
There are a ton of great resources out there with vital steps, tips and tricks you can do to get your spouse back on board with saving the marriage.