Most of us were brought up to be polite, well behaved and not to offend others - that's admirable but it can also make you on the losing end of dating encounters with more ruthless beings.
It is crucial to work on building your confidence so you don't get taken advantage of by predatorial men and women, and can spot them a mile off in future.
People who lack confidence and self esteem often allow themselves to be treated in bad ways because they believe it's all they deserve or they are conditioned as children not to get on the 'bad side' of others or upset them.
Well I've got some news...
it doesn't have to be you on the losing end every time, and what's more, the less crap you are prepared to put up with, the more dates will flock to your doorstep.
Only bad boys/girls have any fun...
Why do the bad men and women seem to get more attention? Bad guys/ girls attract because they are a challenge and dangerous, and aren't too serious or straight.
No one's suggesting you should start being a nasty person, but it's certainly possible to be too available and too keen to please, trying too hard, responding too quickly.
All too often people become a 'super friend' rather than a lusted after partner because they are too keen to please rather than being themselves.
Confidence is sexy, but arrogance is not.
Ultimately bad boys and girls are found out for the arrogant creatures they are.
It's fine to be confident about what you want without having to play those bad boy/girl games, and confidence in who you are makes you more attractive to others (even if you don't feel it sometimes!).
You need to spend lots of time together...
Absence makes the heart grow stronger is a cliché because it is true.
If you're always available for your date, it won't be long before they start taking you for granted - it's human nature.
Don't be so reliable! They will be different with me...
If you're looking for loyalty in a partner listen carefully to their relationship history.
Have they cheated and how do they describe the experience? There's no such thing as an affair meaning nothing and if they've done it with others, statistically they are more likely to do it with you - not a definite, but certainly a possible.
You always have to be honest...
There's honesty and there's brutality.
Some people believe you have to be cruel to be kind.
But I'm talking mutual admiration - a supportive partner is supremely important - undermining and criticising will turn them away even if you think they should know the truth.
They're all the same...
It's wrong to think men are driven by sex alone and all women want is commitment - yes that applies to a lot of people, but equally everyone is different and you shouldn't be afraid to ask indirect questions (not interrogating...
) to find out what your date is looking for.
Why waste your time if they are on a different path? I just have to make them see the real me...
You can't make them realise that you're 'the one.
' Spending all your time 'convincing' your date is a long uphill struggle with no end.
We can only be ourselves and hope that the significant other in our life is worthy - and by worthy I mean that they're clever enough to realize that we're the real thing.
Men and women will always think differently and you can't make your partner 'be more like you'...
if they don't like your basic character as it is, no amount of compromise is going to make a relationship work.
The honeymoon feeling should last forever...
It's also a myth that the falling in love feeling lasts forever...
it is replaced by something deeper if you let it - learn to move on rather than seeking the same temporary emotional high with another partner.
People become serial daters often because they are addicted to the first infatuation high and keep seeking it with new partners, rather than letting feelings develop.
If your date makes references to dating being in a sweetshop or similar analogies, steer clear unless you want a short term fling.
Likewise do you run at the first sign that feelings are cooling or developing into something else? Could you be addicted to dating? People in love shouldn't argue...
People will always have issues on which they fundamentally disagree - it's normal - and agreeing to disagree is how long term couples function.
You don't have to share exactly the same concerns and interests as your partner, and trying to do so can put unnecessary strain on one or both Everyone argues in a healthy relationship...
if you never have conflict, you don't have communication...
and it needn't be 'the end'.
If you or your partner goes from 0-100 in an argument so it all gets out of hand too often, you may need to consider how to change this so you don't damage an otherwise good relationship.
Or maybe you have done this in the past and it ruined things so it's time for a new start in that area? Nobody's perfect in life and you can tolerate flaws in a partner for the sake of the good bits - as they can in you.
But remember quirks are one thing - serious issues such as addictions and abusive behaviour are another.
It is crucial to work on building your confidence so you don't get taken advantage of by predatorial men and women, and can spot them a mile off in future.
People who lack confidence and self esteem often allow themselves to be treated in bad ways because they believe it's all they deserve or they are conditioned as children not to get on the 'bad side' of others or upset them.
Well I've got some news...
it doesn't have to be you on the losing end every time, and what's more, the less crap you are prepared to put up with, the more dates will flock to your doorstep.
Only bad boys/girls have any fun...
Why do the bad men and women seem to get more attention? Bad guys/ girls attract because they are a challenge and dangerous, and aren't too serious or straight.
No one's suggesting you should start being a nasty person, but it's certainly possible to be too available and too keen to please, trying too hard, responding too quickly.
All too often people become a 'super friend' rather than a lusted after partner because they are too keen to please rather than being themselves.
Confidence is sexy, but arrogance is not.
Ultimately bad boys and girls are found out for the arrogant creatures they are.
It's fine to be confident about what you want without having to play those bad boy/girl games, and confidence in who you are makes you more attractive to others (even if you don't feel it sometimes!).
You need to spend lots of time together...
Absence makes the heart grow stronger is a cliché because it is true.
If you're always available for your date, it won't be long before they start taking you for granted - it's human nature.
Don't be so reliable! They will be different with me...
If you're looking for loyalty in a partner listen carefully to their relationship history.
Have they cheated and how do they describe the experience? There's no such thing as an affair meaning nothing and if they've done it with others, statistically they are more likely to do it with you - not a definite, but certainly a possible.
You always have to be honest...
There's honesty and there's brutality.
Some people believe you have to be cruel to be kind.
But I'm talking mutual admiration - a supportive partner is supremely important - undermining and criticising will turn them away even if you think they should know the truth.
They're all the same...
It's wrong to think men are driven by sex alone and all women want is commitment - yes that applies to a lot of people, but equally everyone is different and you shouldn't be afraid to ask indirect questions (not interrogating...
) to find out what your date is looking for.
Why waste your time if they are on a different path? I just have to make them see the real me...
You can't make them realise that you're 'the one.
' Spending all your time 'convincing' your date is a long uphill struggle with no end.
We can only be ourselves and hope that the significant other in our life is worthy - and by worthy I mean that they're clever enough to realize that we're the real thing.
Men and women will always think differently and you can't make your partner 'be more like you'...
if they don't like your basic character as it is, no amount of compromise is going to make a relationship work.
The honeymoon feeling should last forever...
It's also a myth that the falling in love feeling lasts forever...
it is replaced by something deeper if you let it - learn to move on rather than seeking the same temporary emotional high with another partner.
People become serial daters often because they are addicted to the first infatuation high and keep seeking it with new partners, rather than letting feelings develop.
If your date makes references to dating being in a sweetshop or similar analogies, steer clear unless you want a short term fling.
Likewise do you run at the first sign that feelings are cooling or developing into something else? Could you be addicted to dating? People in love shouldn't argue...
People will always have issues on which they fundamentally disagree - it's normal - and agreeing to disagree is how long term couples function.
You don't have to share exactly the same concerns and interests as your partner, and trying to do so can put unnecessary strain on one or both Everyone argues in a healthy relationship...
if you never have conflict, you don't have communication...
and it needn't be 'the end'.
If you or your partner goes from 0-100 in an argument so it all gets out of hand too often, you may need to consider how to change this so you don't damage an otherwise good relationship.
Or maybe you have done this in the past and it ruined things so it's time for a new start in that area? Nobody's perfect in life and you can tolerate flaws in a partner for the sake of the good bits - as they can in you.
But remember quirks are one thing - serious issues such as addictions and abusive behaviour are another.
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