I remember once in college Spanish class we each had to stand up and teach a lesson on grammar.
Each of the other students would "grade" us based upon how they thought we did regarding knowledge of our subject, conveying and teaching the information, etc.
Even though this particular lesson was a point I did not understand well myself, I let a female student talk me into teaching it.
She convinced me that I really would do well and make a good grade on the assignment if I followed her advice.
Because I regarded her as a friend and "knew" she had my best interest at heart, I followed her lead.
Buoyed by her enthusiasm and encouragement, I reluctantly stood in front of the class and gave the lesson.
I never felt 100% good about my effort.
Later, I discovered why.
I was doing some volunteer work in the Spanish department a few weeks later.
I was filing charts for the professor and came across my chart in the filing cabinet.
In my file were all the notes and "grades" that each of the other students had given us along with their comments.
I saw her comment sheet and eager to see something positive from a supportive friend, I started to read.
My heart became sickened over the words that I read.
My stomach knotted up...
You guessed it.
She had totally thrown me under the bus.
She said I had no idea what I was talking about, did not know the lesson, could not convey or teach it well and she "did not understand" why I chose that particular lesson to teach.
She gave me the lowest score possible.
I thought this girl was my friend.
Pfffffft! Most of my career life I have worked with and for men.
I always excelled in positions where men usually dominated: television, advertising, marketing, sales.
producing/directing.
I was propositioned, sexually harassed and at times humiliated because I did better than most of my male counterparts.
I learned how to work 'harder and smarter' without compromising my values or integrity.
But no man ever threw me under the bus.
No man ever sabotaged my efforts in order to help himself get ahead.
Why you think some women are so passive/aggressive when it comes to other women in the workplace? Why do they throw someone under the bus instead of just rising to the occasion and doing the job better? I'd love your thoughts, be they from the female or male perspective and also what experiences you have had.
Each of the other students would "grade" us based upon how they thought we did regarding knowledge of our subject, conveying and teaching the information, etc.
Even though this particular lesson was a point I did not understand well myself, I let a female student talk me into teaching it.
She convinced me that I really would do well and make a good grade on the assignment if I followed her advice.
Because I regarded her as a friend and "knew" she had my best interest at heart, I followed her lead.
Buoyed by her enthusiasm and encouragement, I reluctantly stood in front of the class and gave the lesson.
I never felt 100% good about my effort.
Later, I discovered why.
I was doing some volunteer work in the Spanish department a few weeks later.
I was filing charts for the professor and came across my chart in the filing cabinet.
In my file were all the notes and "grades" that each of the other students had given us along with their comments.
I saw her comment sheet and eager to see something positive from a supportive friend, I started to read.
My heart became sickened over the words that I read.
My stomach knotted up...
You guessed it.
She had totally thrown me under the bus.
She said I had no idea what I was talking about, did not know the lesson, could not convey or teach it well and she "did not understand" why I chose that particular lesson to teach.
She gave me the lowest score possible.
I thought this girl was my friend.
Pfffffft! Most of my career life I have worked with and for men.
I always excelled in positions where men usually dominated: television, advertising, marketing, sales.
producing/directing.
I was propositioned, sexually harassed and at times humiliated because I did better than most of my male counterparts.
I learned how to work 'harder and smarter' without compromising my values or integrity.
But no man ever threw me under the bus.
No man ever sabotaged my efforts in order to help himself get ahead.
Why you think some women are so passive/aggressive when it comes to other women in the workplace? Why do they throw someone under the bus instead of just rising to the occasion and doing the job better? I'd love your thoughts, be they from the female or male perspective and also what experiences you have had.
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