There are two ways you can look at an unhappy marriage.
The pessimistic way to look at it is to believe that the situation is beyond redemption and irretrievable.
Any attempt to save your marriage would only be a self-defeating exercise.
This is not only a fatalistic point of view but also demeaning to your own morale while continuing with the pain till the bubble bursts.
However, there is a slightly more positive way to look at the situation when you believe that there could still be light at the end of the tunnel.
After all your spouse is still physically present and possibly both of you are still on talking terms, whatever little the duration of communication may be.
The fact is that you both have not yet got divorced and legally separated; this means that you still have several opportunities to work on to repair the cracks and save your marriage.
If you have been trying to save your marriage for some time now, chances are that you have heard or read many tips and techniques to start and go about the process.
If you are fatalistic, none of these otherwise proven tips are going to work - since primarily in your subconscious mind you have already accepted defeat.
However, if you still believe in yourself and your love for your spouse, you could fine-tune the tips given below, depending on your own specific situation.
Remember no tip to save your marriage can be 100% foolproof because only a couple knows how to work on their specific issues, and there is no 'universal formula' that works well with every human mind.
Tip #1: Depending on the communication ability of your spouse, it might be a good idea to get him or her into a joint discussion about issues that are affecting the marriage.
In stead of shooting arrows in the dark, such frank and open communication would also give you enough information about how the other mind is working.
To save your marriage, the intention has to be equally strong on both sides.
Or else, it would turn into a one actor drama where one person simply sits back and enjoys the show.
Tip #2: If you have got even a vague idea of what has caused your spouse to turn against the marriage, focus on correcting that particular aspect of your action or behavior.
It could be something to do with your lifestyle, habits, friends, etc.
While you are attempting to save your marriage, never think that you are making great sacrifices and you are paving the way to martyrdom.
Many changes are perhaps necessary not just to save your marriage but also for your own good.
Tip #3: Try and involve more people in your family.
At these times the company of humorous and well-meaning friends help as the crowd somehow diffuses the situation.
Of course make sure that you involve people who are liked by your spouse.
Depending on the age of your children and whether they are willing to help out in the situation by lightening the charged environment, you could ask them to join in also, to save your marriage Essentially, to save your marriage is not an easy task.
It does not matter whether it is a marriage which is only a few years old or a few decades.
There are positively good enough issues in the marriage which is unbearable for one of the partners and that is the time when things start to get sour.
But if both of you feel true love and respect for each other, you can make some sincere efforts to save your marriage, which would yield the desired results sooner than later.
The pessimistic way to look at it is to believe that the situation is beyond redemption and irretrievable.
Any attempt to save your marriage would only be a self-defeating exercise.
This is not only a fatalistic point of view but also demeaning to your own morale while continuing with the pain till the bubble bursts.
However, there is a slightly more positive way to look at the situation when you believe that there could still be light at the end of the tunnel.
After all your spouse is still physically present and possibly both of you are still on talking terms, whatever little the duration of communication may be.
The fact is that you both have not yet got divorced and legally separated; this means that you still have several opportunities to work on to repair the cracks and save your marriage.
If you have been trying to save your marriage for some time now, chances are that you have heard or read many tips and techniques to start and go about the process.
If you are fatalistic, none of these otherwise proven tips are going to work - since primarily in your subconscious mind you have already accepted defeat.
However, if you still believe in yourself and your love for your spouse, you could fine-tune the tips given below, depending on your own specific situation.
Remember no tip to save your marriage can be 100% foolproof because only a couple knows how to work on their specific issues, and there is no 'universal formula' that works well with every human mind.
Tip #1: Depending on the communication ability of your spouse, it might be a good idea to get him or her into a joint discussion about issues that are affecting the marriage.
In stead of shooting arrows in the dark, such frank and open communication would also give you enough information about how the other mind is working.
To save your marriage, the intention has to be equally strong on both sides.
Or else, it would turn into a one actor drama where one person simply sits back and enjoys the show.
Tip #2: If you have got even a vague idea of what has caused your spouse to turn against the marriage, focus on correcting that particular aspect of your action or behavior.
It could be something to do with your lifestyle, habits, friends, etc.
While you are attempting to save your marriage, never think that you are making great sacrifices and you are paving the way to martyrdom.
Many changes are perhaps necessary not just to save your marriage but also for your own good.
Tip #3: Try and involve more people in your family.
At these times the company of humorous and well-meaning friends help as the crowd somehow diffuses the situation.
Of course make sure that you involve people who are liked by your spouse.
Depending on the age of your children and whether they are willing to help out in the situation by lightening the charged environment, you could ask them to join in also, to save your marriage Essentially, to save your marriage is not an easy task.
It does not matter whether it is a marriage which is only a few years old or a few decades.
There are positively good enough issues in the marriage which is unbearable for one of the partners and that is the time when things start to get sour.
But if both of you feel true love and respect for each other, you can make some sincere efforts to save your marriage, which would yield the desired results sooner than later.
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